Get there late. If you know that the match starts promptly at 12.00, 12.10 is probably not a good time to get to your seat. You’ll end up being like those people in the cinema, who make everyone awkwardly swivel or stand – just so that you can get to your seat (which is always conveniently located in the middle of everyone).

Get to your seat at least five minutes before the match begins so that you have ample time to cheer your favorite teams on.

Jump around with a full drink in your hand. No one likes getting splashed with whatever’s in that plastic cup you’re holding. This point should also cover waving your arms around with said cup in your hand.

Drink your drink in one go – this ensures that you don’t have to worry about holding that pesky cup anymore and your arms can go carte blanche. 

Jump all over the place. Also, when you’re not holding a cup, your hands are free to hold other, more important stuff… like flags.

Stand up in front of little kids or other people who are shorter than you – you tall backs know who you are. Didn’t your mama ever tell you to use your height powers for good? I know you’re probably thinking, I can’t help being this tall, I was born this way, well the people who are trying to see through your back didn’t ask to be short either. (This obviously is not because the person who is writing this is personally afflicted by this…)

Also if everyone is sitting, probably not a good time to stand either.

Offer to swap places, or better yet, be that little kid’s hero by offering to carry him up on your shoulders. Just don’t drop him… I see the headline already:

‘That guy dropped my baby’ – enraged mother screams. 

‘Tall guy tries to be the hero… Fails’

Scream ‘Goal’, ‘Yellow Card’, ‘Offside’ and the like.

If you hear someone screaming any of those terms, promptly direct them elsewhere.

Cheer on your favorite teams! Loudly and proudly.

Scream or trash talk other teams. That includes all terms and phrases such as: ‘BOO!’. ‘You suck! We wiped the floor with you’. You catch my drift. Manners guys, manners.

Always be gracious – whether winning or losing.

See point above.

Wear nothing but your birthday suit. Please. Beach volleyball is a family sport. No need for that kind of exposure.

Wear the colors of your favorite team. Or better yet, dress in full fan regalia. Show them what a proud supporter you are.

Let your swinging ponytail hit the person behind you. This goes out to all those long-haired girls, nothing worse than getting literally whip lashed… 

Keep that pony checked, in order, not hitting anyone or garnishing the person behind you’s drink. 

Sit down when Beach Major Series anthems are playing. No one needs to be subjected to that kind of negativity. If you do that, you have a chance of losing all your friends and all respect.

Memorize and perform enthusiastically Beach Major Series anthems up to and including:

Major fans clap your hands

Mein Block

Here comes the Boom

Mexican Wave

Boom Boom Shaka Laka

That’s the way ah huh ah huh

Whoop there it is

Danube Dab

For a fun video tutorial – click here.